One day... will I have as many fans???

Right now I feel as if I am so small, staring up at giants, people that I admire and things that I wish I could be. Two people, I admire the most, they are not english people. One is chinese (hong kong), the other Japanese. I have never been a fan of anyone but them. I am a very picky person when it comes to people that I admire.
I am so cynical~

Only for these two, would I frequent their webpages and stalk them and only for these two would I ever go to something where I could see them and become *gasp* a fan and act like one and feel silly but be so totally enamoured!

I think that I would like to meet them when if I ever become famous and say, wow... when I was a young stuggling writer, I looked up to you and no one else. It is hard for people to win my approval but when they do I will be fiercely loyal to them. It is the same with books, I have hard time finding favourites. However manga and manwha, though not books have touched me very much over the past few years. So here is a list:

Favourite manga/manwha:

1) Tsuki no Shippo, why?: Tale of an innocent girl and a stiff cold guy who gradually learns to love, what's not to like. Also makes me laugh, the girl is very earnest, just like me! It is very cheerful, though not very intellectual and I read it when I am down.
2) Angel Myth, (may be subject to change, as I haven't read the end) Why?: I cannot tell the direction her story will take, she started her book as a normal shoujo and then completely went off the track! (are you allowed to do that?) she keeps veils in front of my eyes, nothing is as it seems and her world is intresting. Also, I am in love with gabriel! and the way she draws, it is beautiful... Gabriel's compassion for Hui Sheng comes through just in the way she draws him. I was so stunned...I kept that picture on my desktop for weeks...
I was so sure that she had stolen this story from somewhere, it was so good. I even looked up Paradise Lost to see if she had taken liberties... but no. I had to conceed to her... (and let my arrogant front down) she was a good writer >_< (AND I DO NOT SAY THIS ABOUT ANY BODY!!!)
3) Queen's Knight, Why: What's not to love? A young girl trapped in a medieval world, trying her hardest to make it a better place. She is not like other girls, she is active and kind and realises the mistake in falling in love with Rieno (it was refreshing to see a heroine, who put her work and her people before her love intrest). Love Rieno also however, dark and tormented, you can't understand him at first. Please kiss me forcefully too ~~~~~~
4) Operation Liberate Men, Why: gender, bender. That is all I have to say. A world where men are women and women are men. I am a student of gender studies and a believer in pulling away sterotypes, so I love this. LOVE LOVE LOVE!! Such a pity the author never finished. (EDIT: AAAaaaaHHHH! it just got licensed, BUY BUY BUY!)
5) Bara no tameni, Why: ugly girl as a main character, once again something I had not seen before. Taught me a lot about the world and loving myself and other people. Characters are so intresting and even thought it is not fantasy (my favourite genre) I was hooked by the drama of the family (and I hate soaps, so that is surprising)

Then in a world of it's own:

Beserk.... I can't tell you about this. When I watched it I thought, finally someone shows medieval times as it actually was, not romanticised. How did he know?
The sex scene between Charlotte and Griffith, just 0_0....
This anime shocked me, it made me feel. No sterotypes, I had no idea how things were going to turn out. Turned me on my head. I was in a state of shock for a week after the ending, acting like a zombie. Somehow... I don't know, I feel strangely connected to it, as if it was written by an english person who read all tales of knights and listened to the ballads and just turned it into something... something ( I do not even have words).... I.... well, it was like they took my mind and everything I knew and made something dark and twisted. My fairytales, my stories, my folk music... everything that I surround myself with daily and I was not angry but I welcomed the change from my own idealistic slant. The author is the cynical to my idealism.

Literature:

Far from the Madding Crowd, why: when I had a lot of problems, low self esteem and plagued by anxiety this book reached out to me. Though I feel a lot like the old farmer >_< this book showed me that people are often stupid and make mistakes but that I shouldn't expect so much from them, in the end I will find the Bathsheba to my Gabriel :D

The Secret Garden: Oh dear, I become very much attached to Mary when she was a spoiled brat in this book, I felt like she was the only heroine I could relate to at this time in my life. I love the gothicness of it and the story of Colin's parents, was so romantic, though tragic...

Sense and Sensibility: Ah I am such a Mari-Anne... There needs no more to be said...

Hmm, actually now I am feeling a little light headed from my pills...

If I think of anymore I will edit this post.