Writing, you're doing it wrong.

Now I'm no Holly Lisle, but I am most known on Deviantart for my witing tutorial which gets a favourite almost every other day (this isn't really something to be proud of -_-) but anyway, I do know writing, i've been doing it for 11 years, writing full length novels for six. Anyway today I was on a writers forum, oh horrors of horrors, what was I doing there? well I do hate writers forums but I realised I have a problem writing conversation scenes and was looking for some help. However what I stumbled across was a bunch of people discussing grammer and words that they hate. I mean come on, for me, grammer yes it's important but the average modern reader isn't really going to have a fit if I write grammer which has been amalgamated by modern day, I don't read a story for the grammer, I read it for the story and I write for the story.
You're missing the whole point, the emotional intensity of the characters is the most important for me, and no writing style is ever the "best" take lord of the rings for example.

So yeah, characters first, grammer second.