Feeling Horrible

On friday, I finally got up the nerve to go into the Doctors again. I was sitting there on the computer for hours trying to pick which doctor I wanted. Eventually I picked the name of a nice sounding woman.

When I got there, I got lost XD, but thankfully some nice doctor helped me find her room. When I got in, the doctor recognised me, however because of my mental state last year (I can't even remember my 21st birthday) I didn't recognise her, so I was a little ashamed when she said "Oh it's me XXX XXX" and I didn't remember.

However I was glad to get a doctor who knows about me. I told her that I had had some bad times with my depression coming back and that I hadn't been able to go to lectures all week. She asked me when it happened and I said around my period as I always have bad PMT, she told me to take some more medication for it, which I was happy to do. I only have to take double just before my period and afterwards i'll go back to my normal dose.

I've been struggling this week, it was very bad on wednesday and thursday, I know when my depression comes back because the same phrase will repeat over and over in my head "what's the point in living" etc. etc. However usually I just laugh at myself, and say "you know what the point is" thankfully my OCD hasn't been bad, in fact i've been OCD free for a while now.

I'm running low on funds, because I buy a lot of video games to keep me occupied, so my mind doesn't wander. It's just until I can get a job.

I've been struggling socially as well. My best friend hasn't been on skype for several weeks as she's been travelling and I know that something is upsetting her, but she won't talk to me about it. I send her several facebook messages and she promises to come on on tuesday, hopefully I can figure out what's upsetting her then. Thankfully, Terry has been a lifesaver, I talk to him whenever I can and he tells me all his woes. Terry and I are very similar, so it's wonderful to talk to someone going through the same shit.

I worry constantly about my flatmate, whom I care about so dearly. It's a problem as we only hang out with each other, in a way we are a "couple" even though both of us are girls and straight LOL. This means I often get possessive, because of all the problems i've had with friends in the past. However I am certainly working on this, I am trying my best not to feel hurt when close friends of mine get boyfriends (however this is painful for me, because I am La Pucelle, the one "who stands in the shadows, while another gets the kiss of victory") or make other close friends. My worst fear is being replaced, because of the suffering it caused me before. Silly to think of that, the past doesn't reflect the present but it's hard to let go.

It's easy for me to write these things down, as i'm not ashamed of what I feel or how I act :D.

Soviet Animation

Actually I really enjoyed these :):

The Nutcracker:


The Tin Soldier:


The Little Mermaid:

Phantasmat

Here I am to recommend another casual game for you. I don't recommend, unless I really enjoyed it and this I did. It's a very good ghost story, with a bit of a twist :). It starts off with you crashing your car on a dark and stormy night, and you meet a strange young woman who tells you to leave and not to check into the hotel down the way. Of course you do and things begin to get spooky, the house begins to change as do the people and as you get closer to the truth, you begin to fit the pieces together of your strange visions.

I love a good gothic ghost story and a tale of jilted love :). The drowned city is also a unique idea not seen before. The artwork is beautiful and the voice acting is great :). So go download the demo and have a go and buy it if you like it!

Vocaloid Part 1

Yeah yeah, you know the saying, but really I did get into it before it was cool! A Chinese person on DA showed me and I got hooked.



This one really inspired me. If you follow all of this story, you will get to a very sad ending. It made my cry really... The second instalment is called Servant of Evil.


Dark Alice in Wonderland. Warning: extremly gothic, i.e. blood, gore, adult themes etc.


Cantarella

Ads

Watching the best Ads of 2010 on tv, this advert came on as number 2:

John Lewis: Never Knowingly Undersold

Many people were stating how it described their lives, I suppose it's the most convention life one can lead :P. I however never really liked it, for me, this video was much better *WARNING: NSFW:



*check out the boy's version also it's really good.

Playing Rune Factory Frontier

For long periods of time!
Oh dear, I got RFF for myself at Christmas, now all I do is play all day LOL. I think I am addicted oh dear... The girl I think i'll go for is Bianca, the lonely rich girl lol.

My favourite bachelor from the Harvest Moon series (similar games but more about farming, no RPG element) has to be the sweet and shy Cliff (from the first HM I ever played) and Vaughn, he was lovely :P. As for the others, Skye was hot, I never finished HM Tree of Tranquility lol but I liked Julious.

Actually I prefer the Rune Factory games to the HM ones, but since there has never been a "heroine" for RF (yet, Rune factory oceans apparently has one) I can't say which bachelor I liked. However RF characters are much more fleshed out, I loved Max and Ray from RF2 and for sure the storylines and "romance" in RF is what I remember, much more than any HM games. In RF2 I had a very hard time picking a lady to woo, since all were wonderful characters, I ended up playing it twice (something shocking for me) so that I could marry Dorothy the second time around :P (first was Yue :D ).

The first RF wasn't my favourite, but I married Sharron the "ghost" and I was glad that RFF was the "direct sequel" which expanded on Raguna's story. In RF3 which only just recently came out, I of course married the mermaid Pia :P, since I love mermaids, and she was so funny, on more than one occasion she called my character (Leto) "awesomesauce". lol

Really I love dating sims :p (only the fantasy ones, the real life ones creep me out -_-) and Harvest Moon and RF games are the only ones I can get in the west LOL. From time to time I keep up with Angelique and Harukanaru Toki no Nakade, even though they've never been translated into English, just because they sound intresting and have pretty artwork. Ah I love my romance~ LOL

Harvest Moon:

Angel Myth Translation

Unfortunately on my old computer, I downloaded some nasty programme and deleted tonnes of my windows files. I also lost a lot of my old stuff, including all my wallpapers, my music (thankfully I managed to convert if off my ipod, but some I didn't sync and they're gone forever :( ), some of my anime videos, my huge cache of midis and some other random junk.

Also what got deleted, was all my angel myth files! thankfully however I had decided to do some scanlating on this laptop and I have volume 2 and 3 here with me phew! I just have to download 4 and 5 off some raws or if push come to shove, scan my own books. Volume 1 was already scanlated by a proper person who actually speaks chinese! not someone like me who decodes what google translate gives me LOL. I'll begin to start translating it again when I can ;).